SHIT! Quickly, fellow Guardians, everyone attack Will exactly one at a time! So glad to be here, look forward to much contribution to story.Įveryone tucks CHRIS into bed and BRADLEY barely has time to fire up the second song on the playlist when suddenly GOLDEN WILL POULTER of the OSCAR STATUETTE ALIENS attacks!!ĪRGH I HAVE BEEN SENT BY MY MOM, BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE, TO CAPTURE YOU BRADLEY! NOT TILDA SWINTON YOU IDIOT, TILDA THE PUNCTUATION sorry, James Gunn demands we scream at each other at least once per scene.Īnd let's welcome back Russian Space Dog Maria Bakalova! I'll be a total dick to her until the last second when I'm not, in keeping with how all our other friendships work.ĭa, is most reassuring formula. Poor Chris, he still hasn't come to terms with how Zoe Saladana got killed off and replaced by Zoe Saladana with a tilda. I continue to insist dancing is stupid, I'll NEVER do it!

I continue to fail at using Michael Rooster's death chopstick, arrgh I'll NEVER do it! I think the boundary was about half a movie ago. I've been seeing how far I can push my 'emotion control' powers until they just become straight-up MMMMMMMMMIIIIND control powers. I've made grav-boots that let anyone on the ceiling stay securely latched to the ceiling, like so! I also continue to refuse to learn what a raccoon is.Īs is tradition with any Marvel character with any kind of tech, I have used the gap between stories to level up my tech. Let's at least catch everyone up on our current status. We follow BRADLEY RACCOOPER working his way around the NECROPOLIS as we catch up on our heroes following the pivotal events of the GUARDIANS HOLIDAY SPECIAL, OH YOU DIDN'T SKIP THAT ONE DID YOU, IF YOU DID HAHAHA TOO FUCKING BAD KNOWHERE, AKA THE CITY THAT LIVES INSIDE AN ENORMOUS CORPSE SKULL, AKA GUARDIANS 'HEAD'-QUARTERS, GET IT? BECAUSE IT'S A GIANT HEAD

This is our generation's Wonka Tunnel, isn't it. (pitiful sad eyes fill movie screen as a GIANT HAND descends upon them) The crowd of MCU FANS settle in, ready for another zany escapist frothy Marvel popcorn light-hearted quips-'N'-quirks wacky no-stakes breezy inconsequential har-har bubbly weightless tee-hee floof fluff lubbidy dubbidy

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 instaling